After disappearing for so long, I should also talk about what I’ve been through recently. After indulging in pleasure for half the winter break, I eventually had no choice but to face reality. I had thought everything too simply: I’d go with my mother to take care of a leave-of-absence, then go to a milk tea shop to try out for a job. But I fell hard at the very first step. Because I had spent most of the holiday indulging myself, and because I also thought that taking a leave of absence wasn’t such a hard thing, and in the first place I shouldn’t have taken leave at all but should have applied for self-study instead (if I wanted a diploma). Yet I arrogantly assumed that since both meant stopping school, it didn’t matter either way. And the idea of taking leave was suggested to my mom by the aunt of one of my college teachers (she hoped I could keep my student status and leave myself a way out). My mother, meanwhile, also believed the homeroom teacher’s nonsense that a leave-of-absence didn’t require a medical certificate. I didn’t pay much attention either. So just like that, I went to school to handle the leave-of-absence like a soldier going in without a helmet or rifle. The person in charge of leave-of-absence was a young male administrator. The way he spoke was such that if you threw him into a gang of hooligans, they’d all think he was the boss. He barely said a few words before shouting to try to intimidate me. When he saw that couldn’t scare me, he put on an air of superiority and started lecturing me about “big principles.” First he said something along the lines of, a person who is unfilial is a failure in life. Then he told a story about a student whose both parents were paralyzed, who frantically speculated and eventually became “rich and successful.” I didn’t react much to his threats and inducements, but my mother started crying “out of grievance.” She felt that she had carefully looked after me since I was little, yet I was being so inconsiderate. In the end I had no choice but to say I’d go home and think it over and calm down. Finally, seeing that I was neither swayed by reason nor moved by force, that director kept my mother in the office and had the homeroom teacher take me out. I don’t know what they said to her, but then they gave me seven days off to think things over at home. The next day I went to the milk tea shop to try out for the job, thinking that if the trial went well I’d just drop out. But because I had long been idle and unaccustomed to labor, I worked very slowly and without any method, not knowing how to do things. In the end the milk tea shop owner didn’t want me. The successive failures made me discouraged, and I returned to my former life of indulgence, playing games and watching porn even more frantically, sinking into Minecraft to escape reality. I also didn’t go and ask for the wages from the trial period, which in fact was also a reflection of my own cowardice and timidity. The seven-day break ended very quickly, and I had no choice but to go back to the school again. Every day I was basically sleeping through the first few morning classes, and then reading in the afternoon and evening. I read very quickly — I finished nearly half of Women and Socialism in four days. Life at school soon made me feel the pressure again. I truly began to feel more and more that what kind of practice determines what kind of thought. I started participating in the reading group again, stopped masturbating and watching porn, and everything began to improve once more. But I no longer wanted to waste time at the school; I wanted to drop out and work. First, I believed that nothing meaningful could possibly be done at the school. Second, after talking with several comrades, many of them also thought a high school diploma wasn’t that important, and I didn’t need to spend another semester or even two semesters just to get this “quarantine clearance.” Third, I felt that if we were going to make revolution, we absolutely must not leave ourselves a retreat, because that isn’t a retreat — it’s a reverse road back to the corruption and decay of the past. One reason my previous trial for a job didn’t succeed was that I always thought if I couldn’t pass the trial, at worst I’d go home and look for the next job, always assuming I had a fallback. But do proletarians really have a fallback? No. For them, unemployment is the same as falling into an abyss. I should also summon the courage to burn my boats, cut off my retreat, and truly embrace revolution and embrace the proletariat. I’ve decided this weekend I’ll first go see whether I can recover the trial fee, and at the same time see whether I can find a job. Then I’ll struggle with my parents and fight for dropping out. I’ll write this much for now. If there’s anything wrong or anything that needs to be added, I hope comrades can point it out to me.
Is Hong Qing communicating with everyone at People’s Square? My personal opinion is that we should struggle and self-study to obtain the diploma. It is indeed “quarantine clearance,” but having the certificate makes it basically smooth sailing to work in factories or the service industry, making it easier to find a job; moreover, the scope of work expands, which is beneficial for engaging with the masses and promoting Marxism through labor.
I’m also struggling with this issue now, and I don’t know if I can have both fish and bear’s paw, but staying at the Zixue Academy for another one or two semesters would indeed be a waste of time.
I remember Hong Qing was already over 16, so it’s best to go participate in labor as soon as possible, to transform worldviews through practice; and the Zhi Xuefu (Resource Academy) has no right to refuse your self-study, and you can obtain a graduation certificate.
But what should I do to self-study? I definitely want to go through labor reform now, but that leader definitely won’t let me go easily. I want to ask my comrades if anyone has any experience.
I am also preparing for self-study in the struggle. Based on your situation, it seems that you were not firm in your struggle and ultimately gave up. My advice is to absolutely stop indulging in pleasures now, quickly find a job during this period, and get ready. When dealing with procedures, insist strongly; if they give you a fake, do not give in easily. Finally, force Lao Jiu and your mother to complete the procedures. During this time, Hong Qing should communicate more about their thoughts and feelings, so that the struggle does not fail again due to ideological issues.
What does it mean to strain or push hard against something
Just insist on self-learning, and don’t be led by the Ninth or parents.
I remember saying that passing the high school exam seems to be enough to get the graduation certificate.
Here’s the situation: I failed an English course, and our school, whether it’s a unilateral rule by the school or something common here, seems to say that if volunteer hours are less than 40 hours, no graduation certificate will be issued (it’s like doing a formalistic volunteer activity; rather than being a volunteer activity, it’s more like adding chaos).
What volunteer hours? Do any of you students actually do this? I guess the school just does it casually, hoping you’ll pass, and if you do, they let it go.
Any thoughts on reading? Also, what exactly did you experience as oppression here? What ideas did it generate? It feels a bit unclear.
I have not had much understanding of the oppression women have suffered in the past. Only now do I have a slight awareness of the heavy shackles women have borne over these thousands of years, and I have also gained some new perspectives on gender relations. As for oppression, besides the suffocating routines, I feel more the oppression exerted by schools on other students. For example, the homeroom teacher, just because two female classmates talked back to each other, flew into a rage and spouted a bunch of nonsense. Moreover, he thought it was very barbaric and unreasonable that the school not only controls students’ romantic relationships but also intervenes even if a student’s nails grow a little longer.
So, what are your thoughts on these oppressions? How do they relate to you personally?
In fact, looking at the news can also reveal some emotional materials about how women are oppressed (although the Chinese revisionist media will still release a bunch of news that distorts the truth, uses biased language, and attacks and slanders women), such as a 17-year-old woman who was gang-raped, beaten, buried alive, and died, and only one person was arrested, and the case was hastily closed; there was also an incident during the New Year where a woman wanted to visit her parents’ house, her husband agreed, and she felt very grateful, believing that no matter what happens in the marriage afterward, she would forgive her husband because of that day. Various forms of oppression, slander, enslavement, and corruption of women are emerging one after another.
What’s going on with Hong and Qing now, since you’re not showing up again?
@Red Jacobin, comrade admin, can you please add me back to People’s Square first?
You should first explain the recent situation, as well as what happened while you were away.
Can you first explain what happened to you and why you had to be pulled back first?
I can write it. As for going back to People’s Square, I want to join the book club.