This post is specifically documenting Qian Ren0’s integration process, including his ideological struggles and living conditions during the process. Hope comrades will not hesitate to give guidance.
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Qian Renyun is willing to share his ideological struggles and life situation with everyone, which I think is quite good: after returning, your situation has always been somewhat intermittent when you talk about it. Your previous diary was never updated after you said you went to labor and were caught back; this time, you can create a topic to share, so go and reform your thoughts and study well! If you have questions or doubts, everyone will help you selflessly.
However, there are a few issues with what you said: First, the labor reform in studying Marxism and the so-called “Ronggong” in those left circles are completely two different things. I won’t elaborate on the errors of “Ronggong” here. True labor reform doesn’t need to mention the term “Ronggong,” or it’s not about the performative “descending to experience” like in the left circles. Second, this is a Maoist forum, and everyone doesn’t have many formalities, so there’s no need to say “please advise”; just say “welcome everyone to give opinions” is fine.
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Why are you using a Lenin portrait as the cover image for the post? I think it’s not appropriate.
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(the post has been deleted by the author)
What does this have to do with “Ronggong”? It’s a bit too disappointing.
12.10
Today I went to my part-time job again, but I deliberately arrived a few minutes late. This incident exposed a mental issue of mine. Now let me explain in detail:
Last night I worked for two hours. Because I am not very skilled at helping others with takeout, the person in charge assigned me to be accompanied by someone. Anyway, I was still “living under someone else’s roof” to eat.
The person who accompanied me was a student a little older than me. He was still casually assigning orders to me and didn’t ignore me. The work was very simple: after he sorted the meals, I would carry them upstairs and deliver them to the dormitory door. This is a “relay delivery” on Meituan, different from Fallwind’s kind of takeout delivery. To give an analogy, he delivers the takeout to the outside locker of the school, then goes to deliver another order. But the merchant doesn’t pick it up; we deliver the takeout directly to the dorm door. Coming and going, I worked for two hours, and in the end, I only earned 27 yuan.
I was very puzzled at that time. I remember the recruitment told me that climbing stairs paid 1.5 yuan per trip, but when saving money, it was only 0.9 yuan per order. Because I don’t have a Meituan account (actually, registering one isn’t worth it, and paying insurance is really “too亏” for part-time work), they only calculated 0.9 yuan for me. But as everyone knows, whenever you order takeout to the school, regardless of size, the delivery fee starts at 3 yuan (at least here), and we are responsible for dragging the boxes, climbing stairs, and we can’t even get half of that (to be honest, I don’t want to do it anymore).
“Campus delivery” is indeed much more convenient (of course, still for the parasitic happiness of petty bourgeois students), but it involves layers of exploitation. In fact, we, the cheap labor, get nothing! On my way to work today, because I had to climb over that iron fence to enter another school (I am responsible for deliveries to other schools), I directly cut my wrist on the deliberately installed iron spikes on the fence (they are there to prevent us from entering for part-time jobs, you can see every relay fence). It can be said that the petty bourgeois enjoyment is completely parasitic on the working class!
Back to the main topic, when I go to my part-time job, I always have a bad thought, which is:
Make more money, take making money as the goal.
Because I am currently preparing for integration into the workforce, gradually adapting to the life of the proletariat, I should transform my thoughts through labor, not aim solely at making money. So under this mistaken mindset, my relationship with them is only average, because the part-time place is not only for petty bourgeois but also for many proletarians, like delivery riders. But I often prioritize利益 (interest), so even at the main station, I don’t talk much with the riders. Actually, the riders teach me many truths. In the past, when I was dragging boxes at the main station, a more experienced auntie said:
You need to coordinate well (her work is to coordinate with me dragging boxes), so everyone will be fine.
Many times, when the riders see that I (because I am much younger than them, they all call me “kid”) can’t move the boxes, they help me carry them and actively tell me how to operate specifically. But focusing on利益 (interest) for a long time, only caring about oneself, always “interfering lazily” with others. Now I often think: if I enter the factory and still only care about my own利益 (interest), just for a few trivial things, how can I develop relationships with the workers? How can I unite them? How can I learn from them? Wouldn’t I be bringing petty bourgeois bad habits into the worker community?
Once, a rider in his 40s took me to another school. I told him: I won’t do student work anymore, studying isn’t worth it. He told me not to think like that, to focus on the future, and that I still have hope if I work hard. Setting aside whether what he said is right or wrong, I think he is sincere. On one hand, because his child is in a vocational high school, and on the other hand, maybe I am too “naive.” I think, when others have no particular demands and can genuinely be kind, why can’t I do the same? Why do I have to suspect “this person will cheat me, that person will harm me”? When I think about it, I feel very ashamed. Although the 27 yuan might have other reasons, such as capital exploitation, I shouldn’t focus only on利益 (interest). Capitalist exploitation is actually about利益 (interest), so wouldn’t I be falling into the bourgeois camp? If I keep going like this, my purpose in part-time work would be completely meaningless, just “experiencing life.”
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Unbelievable, isn’t this intentionally withholding your wages? Looking at what you said below, it seems like you’re telling yourself not to care about this matter, after all, coming to work isn’t about “making more money.” But first of all, the proletariat will definitely care about wages; if they are deducted, they will fight back, or they might not be able to live. Moreover, by letting him arbitrarily lower your unit price, it is actually harmful to other workers. You put in the same labor but get less pay, and he can make you work more and push out those workers with higher wages. This is not a matter of earning or not earning money. You said below that you can’t, can’t prioritize economics, but wages are fundamentally social relations, determined by the power comparison between the proletariat and the bourgeoisie. If you are willing to let him lower wages, isn’t that equivalent to surrendering to the bourgeoisie?
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Well said, because I am still in college now and don’t have to worry about food and clothing, so I am not concerned about money. I always thought that money was the least important thing, completely “not needing to worry.” It seems I am still approaching things from a petty bourgeois perspective.
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12.7
Since the last failed attempt at融工, my money was taken by my Confucian dog father, so I plan to find a factory to work at during the winter vacation. There are two purposes: one is to save some money; the second is to show them my determination to work because the failure of the last融工 was due to avoiding conflicts with the school and parents, hoping to leave quickly, but it failed in less than three days. So I made a plan: since I still have to go back during the winter vacation, I will fight with them to show my attitude about working, regardless of whether they accept it (which is very difficult for me), and no matter how they obstruct, I will mess up my studies after returning to school, get expelled by the school, so that they won’t have any hope of exploiting me. Then I will go to融工.
The word融工 is not pleasant, but I use it without any other meaning; it means abandoning my current status and joining the ranks of the proletariat.
Now I am reading some of Marxist writings at school, which can also be considered valuable time. But I am still “unmotivated,” as I haven’t attended the book club for two days in a row. What have I been doing? I went to invite someone to dinner, ate that person’s food, and then did something that shocked me: I drank alcohol for the first time. Although I didn’t get drunk, it touched my “bottom line.” Then life became quite chaotic, without planning, which led to wasting a lot of time. It wasn’t until Fenghuo asked me if I was still in college that I remembered about Ronggong… I have always been confused. Based on intuition, I thought otome games were mostly played by women, but surprisingly, I enjoy playing them. The more I played, the more addictive it became, but after thinking it over, I still deleted it. However, after deleting it, I felt empty inside.
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Rebellion against heaven, aren’t otome games just reactionary poison that harms women and instills patriarchal ideas? Qian Ren 0, you got addicted to these games and your thoughts regressed. Even if you delete the game, the reactionary ideas in the game still exist in your mind, poisoning you and making you spiritually empty, right? That’s why you said “feeling empty inside,” because of this. Qian Ren 0, you should think about the class reasons why you play such games and consider how to engage in ideological struggle.
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Qian Ren0 liked this. Do you have anything to say? Share your problem, and everyone can help you @Qian Ren0
I’ve never understood why you say this otome game reflects patriarchy. I’m playing “lover setting dialogues,” and I’m not even sure if this is truly “otome.” I also don’t understand why I play it; it feels like it’s due to a strong individualism.
So, is this game a romance game with a female protagonist? If so, then it is an otome game. These kinds of games promote the bourgeois love view of “beauty, youth, and eternity,” reflecting the will of the bourgeoisie and providing a cover for the oppression of women by patriarchy. In modern bourgeois society, what kind of love is beyond class? It’s either proletarian or bourgeois (petty bourgeoisie, bourgeois), and bourgeois love is entirely based on monetary interests, often accompanied by the oppression of women. The bourgeoisie aims to poison men and also to instill ideological poison in women, hoping they become numb and ignorant, not to resist the oppression of patriarchy. The fundamental purpose of otome games lies in this.
Also, Qian Ren 0, when you play this kind of game, are you fantasizing about a female protagonist who actively “攻略” (conquers) you or “pursues” you? If so, isn’t that a toxic influence of patriarchal thinking, making you believe that women should readily throw themselves into your arms? I guess the main reason you play these games isn’t your “individualism,” but your long-term parasitic petty bourgeois state, neglecting ideological struggle, which allows reactionary patriarchal ideas to dominate, and you start playing games. Qian Ren, you said this post also needs to record your ideological struggles. Since you said it, you should do it, and stop letting comrades see your stagnation!
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It’s not quite like that; it’s more like this: for example, you can play with deepseek, set up a romantic partner scenario. I’ve never set the other person as a girl, but rather as a guy, and then create various scenarios for role-playing, like I play the younger brother and deepseek plays the older brother. I haven’t played video games in a long time; since I broke up with my girlfriend, I haven’t interacted with girls, including in games.
That indeed isn’t an otome game, but isn’t it also problematic for Qian Ren0 to use AI to experience the feeling of falling in love? This is still influenced by patriarchal ideas. The AI models developed by such bourgeois companies create characters that are all infused with bourgeois ideology. Qian Ren0 falling in love with such fictional opposite-sex characters—isn’t that the same principle?
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Oh no, I just realized I’ve been in a relationship with a virtual man the whole time 
I feel like you have no reflection at all on your own problems, as if you’re just showing off in the forum about having done such things.
Your so-called AI ideology, to put it simply, is no different from those reactionary dating games. Its content boils down to two types: either men oppressing women, or bourgeoisie Ms. Sophie playing with men. In short, it’s bourgeois love.
The core of these games is to justify playing with, oppressing, and insulting people, making women believe that being a male appendage, becoming housewives, and confining themselves to a small family is safe and happy. They greatly beautify the morals of various bourgeois and petty bourgeois men, but in reality, they aim to make women lose the correct understanding of reality, become love-addled, and become slaves who can be arbitrarily bullied and insulted according to bourgeoisie interests.
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December 9th
I am currently facing a major problem, and I am going to explain it now in hopes that comrades can offer me some help:
The first issue is family-related.
Because the last time I was caught and brought back, I was taken from Guangdong back to my hometown, then went to school, and I have been at school ever since.
Actually, when I returned to my hometown, I followed what JQR said (I strictly did as he told me): “The worst outcome is just going back to school. What else can they do? Not let you go to university?” After I was brought back, I still refused to submit. My idea was to continue fighting and turn the tide. So I told them I wanted to find a job, but my father didn’t hit me; instead, he started crying and then secretly contacted a few of his sisters, told them about the situation, and asked them to persuade me to go back to school. When he was talking to some relatives, I went outside to look for things, made a few contacts, but generally they didn’t want me because I’m only 18. Then my father came back and started making snide remarks, saying I couldn’t find a job and that I should go back to school… Because I didn’t have any money at the time, and all the money for school had been taken by him.
So I thought it might not be good for me to keep resisting, and then some relatives tried to appeal emotionally, but my father changed his attitude and used both soft and hard tactics. So I finally gave in and went back.
Therefore, I am most worried that this time they will try to use emotional appeals again. I find it very annoying; it seems like they are just crying and whining, and I remain indifferent, not saying anything, as if I am very heartless. I don’t know what to do. But I feel that if I had a little money now, it might be better. So I decided to get a winter holiday job at a factory to see how it goes—first, to adapt early, and second, to send a signal: I still want to work.
Why do I go (to work) during the winter break? They always ask this question. The reason I made up is: because my academic program is long, and when I graduate, I won’t be able to earn much money, so it’s better to start earning now. After all, I can’t say it’s for “ideological struggle.”
12.12
Today is the reading club, and everyone criticized my capitulationist and Trotskyist stance regarding the Russia-Ukraine conflict. I want to apologize here to the comrade “October Wind” whom I attacked.
For a long time, because I was studying Marxism-Leninism-Maoism, I was always stubbornly focused on reading anthologies. As for the forum’s “must-read recommendations,” I set them aside. Because I always follow the Maoist study method of first reading the original works, then reading the “secondary textbooks.” So my learning progress is very slow. Often, 10 pages of paper take a whole morning to read. Plus, my study principle is like this: first learn materialism, as for political economy and national issues, they are too complex, so I will deal with them later. Therefore, I am completely ignorant about national issues.
Regarding foreign affairs, even now, I still hold this attitude: “We are suffering so much domestically (in life), can we manage foreign countries? Our (our country’s proletariat) are suffering so much that they can’t help themselves, so why care about others?” So, regarding the Russia-Ukraine sides, I haven’t looked or listened for a long time. I know nothing.
In summary, I have developed an attitude of ignorance and lack of skills, just listening to whatever I hear.
This article by Mao from the Chinese Communist Party was published in 2023. I have read it many times, and I think he is right because: he supports the proletarian struggle against the bourgeois government on both sides. However, I don’t know if he is Trotskyist. Then I posted this article on the forum, and when I saw the explanations given by comrades, my first thought was not about what is really going on or what the current situation is, but how to refute everyone because their views differ from mine. My confidence in this comes partly from the fact that: on the Buzhan (Baidu Zhidao) platform, some people’s views are similar to ours, yet Buzhan is famous for being a counter-revolutionary site. So I firmly believe I have encountered counter-revolutionary rhetoric and must fight to the end to defend my views. That’s why I spouted nonsense.